We Love You Russia But
by RainingSkys
Summary: Russia has done some pretty crazy things recently, and that's gotten the other countries concerned...especially when it regards their well being. (T for Language)
1. Chapter 1

When Russia woke up, he was in the conference room, surrounded by the other countries staring at him. He re-adjusted himself so that he was sitting up straight.

 _This chair is really uncomfortable sometimes...almost like I am sitting on something._

"Hello everyone, what seems to be the problem? I assure you that-" America stuffed a hotdog in his mouth. He spat it out and glared at the American.

"We need to talk about your behavior. Recently you've done some stuff that we thought was...concerning," spoke Germany. The others nodded.

"My behavior?" Russia questioned. Germany nodded. "Like what?"

"Well, for starters yesterday you jump kicked America in the stomach, he blacked out and then you and Prussia carried him away and put him in your car. And then you drove off. With America in the back."

The Russian tilted his head, "I don't remember that..."

"I do!" America jumped up, smacking his hand on the table.

XXX

 _"This is a good idea!" Prussia chimed, dragging along a certain Russian behind him. "We can get drunk and forget about everything! The world, our problems, the fact that I am more awesome then you, and yeah!"_

 _Eight drinks later, Prussia was drunk. Twenty drinks later, Russia was drunk. And two minutes later, since no one could tell Russia was drunk, driving around some park in America on a nice, warm day._

 _The country himself was out, enjoying the sun and smiling brightly as he stood at the park's front gate, waiting for something to happen. And happen it will._

 _"Hey look!" Prussia called out, "It's America! We should bring him with us!"_

 _Russia shook his head, he knew the American wouldn't come willingly since Russia was drunk and well, the last time Russia was drunk and in the same room as the American..._

 _"What? You don't want him to-" The albino's face lit up at the childish smile. "Yeah."_

 _So, they parked near the gate and got out of the car. And approached the American._

 _"Hey dudes what's u-"_

 _Russia drop kicked him in the stomach, the American falling to his knees in pain. Prussia grabbed his feet and Russia grabbed his arms, hoisting him in the air and attempting to open the back of the car._

 _Pedestrians stopped and looked, then went on with their lives not helping their poor country out as he was shoved into the back of the car._

 _The pair then drove off with their victims legs sticking out the window, not caring at all, and obviously no one else caring, the rode off into a streetlamp. Then people cared._

"Ohh, now I remember! We crashed into a streetlamp and Prussia and I got thrown in jail for the night for reckless driving because the police lady didn't bother to check my breath! She thought I was a smoker!"

"How the bloody hell do you not remember something that happened YESTERDAY!" England yelled accusingly, taking a sip of tea.

"Because..." the taller man approached the Brit, "I do not want to remember what happened in the jail with me and Prussia," he stated, a dark aura surrounding him.

The other male whimpered and backed off.

"Well I suppose, mes amies, that we should just assume that they fucked and that-"

Both England and Russia smacked the Frenchman in the head.

"That is NOT what they did you stupid frog!"

"How would you know? Were you there too?"

"This isn't about me!"

"Sure because those eyebrows know everyyyything."

"Oh sod off!"

Russia walked away. He went out the room, to a vending machine because sometimes there arguing, made him want to crush things like every bone in their bodies and cans of soda were the next best thing.

(Next chapter will be posted Tuesday~)


	2. Chapter 2

Japan came out to find the Russia crushing soda cans with a pipe. Soda was everywhere and when he tried to approach the other male, he slipped and fell on his face. Classic anime move except he wasn't in a school girls uniform, and Russia wasn't the senpai he lusted after.

"Are you alright, Japan?" Russia asked, stopping his can massacre to help the Japanese man up.

"T-thank you Russia-san, I'm aright-":And then he was hit with a pipe, collapsed to the floor and dragged out of the building

XXX

When Japan woke up, he was in the passenger seat of an unfamiliar car at a gas station.

All he could see was the gas pump, and who he could only assume was his captor. It was Russia.

"Ah hello friend! I see your awake now, da?" He threw in a smile and got in the car.

Japan nodded and scooted away, pulling the hem of his skirt down so it covered more of his knees- wait what? He looked down again, and sure enough he was wearing a skirt that barely covered his knees. he stole a look to Russia, then to his skirt, then to Russia, then to his skirt again.

"Uhm, Russia-san? D-did you put me in this skirt?" he blushed.

The man just hummed in response and focused on the road till someone cut him off, causing him to slam on the brakes and send Japan flying towards the dashboard.

"Sorry Japan, it'll only be small moment." He said, stepping out the car, a dark aura surrounding him.

XXX

Now Japan wasn't accustomed to seeing Russia beat the crap out of a driver because he had been cut off, and he certainly didn't expect the driver to be attempting to beat the crap out of Russia. And he certainly was surprised when a police officer came over, and started making bets in the middle of the highway.

Russia did win, and the man gave up. Several citizens lost a couple hundred dollars, and Japan, who didn't bet, was scared shitless when the man came back into the car covered in blood.

The police did come over though.

"Pretty lady you got there," the police winked at Japan, causing him to be confused.

"Prize and joy. What can we do for you?"

"Well, some guys lost a lot of money..." the guy stuck out cuffs. "C'mon buddy,"

Russia rolled his eyes and got out the car, Japan following. The man instead of arresting Russia, arrested Japan. So, Russia being Russia, jump kicked the guy in the stomach, threw him and Japan in the back, and drove off hitting the door of the man he fought, yelling back as the guy flipped him in crazy Russian.

And, to be safe, he drove the man to a secluded area of one of America's deserts, deserted him there, and left, Japan still handcuffed. But only the fear in Japan's eyes said something to him...

 _Fun times await tomorrow...more therapy from those idiots..._

XXX

"Ohhhh so that's why you guys are late!" America laughed out, amused by the story. England and Germany shot him a look. "That's uhm...not cool guys...someone could've been seriously hurt." he crossed his arms to make his point, winking when the two who shot him a look looked away and whispered, _good job sunflower dude!_

Russia just smiled, "kolkolkol..."

Japan blushed, still wearing the skirt. China raised an eyebrow, and then noticed the small blush on his face. _OH my God, aru. You did NOT..._

The Japanese man, who seemed to read the older Asian's mind, nodded and turned and even redder shade.

'Don't...It was a one night stand...I was handcuffed...'

(Shorter then I planned, next chapter will be posted Thursday!)


End file.
